You feel that … you’re only just holding your own, or possibly losing ground.
The Art of Coming Home by Craig Storti, page 72
In context, this quote is talking about being a professional on your way home to a job where it is difficult to readjust to the difference in being back in your original company. I am not doing that, but I have returned to my university after being in England for 4 wonderful months. And in some sense, this sentence summed up how I’ve felt for the last couple months. I’m begining to not feel that way anymore, but it’s a slow process.
Trying to catch up with how my friends lives had changed while I was gone as well as applying for graduation, graduate school, and considering going back to England for my graduate classes was (and is) a bit daunting. The most difficult is in reconnecting with people. I used to know people’s names and how or why I knew them, but now that I’m back from Bristol, I’ll see people who I recognize but have no idea what their name is or how I know them. And it’s not just the people that I had a tenuous acquaintance with who I’ve forgotten, but my friend’s friends who I’ve meet but don’t remember any more.
Another experience that I didn’t expect at all is in my language. I actually felt like I was losing ground in knowing what language I spoke. Should I use the British English I’d learned or revert to American English? Should I be worried when I forget the British English I worked so hard to learn? Some days I felt like I was going a bit mad.
Now that I’ve had a few months to re-adjust to life in Ohio and think about what made my readjustment so hard. I think one of the biggest difficulties I’ve faced is my mindset. In England I was excited to get involved and be intentional about what I did with my time. I’ve lost a bit of that coming back to Ohio, but maybe not as much as I sometimes think. I think God’s used my time as an international student to give me a desire to be more plugged in to what is happening around me, rather than merely floating along life passively. I want to share the gospel like I was able to in England and God’s given me different opportunities than I would have done in England, but His Work is still happening. It’s a good reminder to see that I’m in God’s family, no mater where I am or even if I feel like I’m losing ground.
Great thoughts! I’m loving learning from your experiences since I know they’re probably really similar to what my own will be! Isn’t it good that He has a purpose for us no matter where He places us? x
You’re not losing ground! You are right that God will use you where he sees fit – you know that even more than I do. There is something you said to me which has stuck with me – I complained that I had never been abroad, but you told me that God is using me where I am. That made me look at it in a completely different perspective.
The fact that you have a renewed excitement about evangelising after being in England is fantastic – and evidently one of the reasons God brought you over here in the first place.
Obviously I’d love to see you back over here, but whatever the future holds, you know as well as I do that God has it in his hands.
But I’ll say one thing… if you give up the British English, I’ll disown you :p
Hi Liz! Once again, thought-provoking, inspiring post! Thanks for that, and for taking the time to write in the middle of re-entry. Know how… difficult (is that the right word?) that can be!
Hi Liz,
I enjoy reading your blog – it’s very intriguing! My name is Heidi and I am a fellow TCK who has written a book about being a MK. It (“Home Keeps Moving”) is coming out very soon and I thought you’d be interested! Check out my blog for more info!
http://homekeepsmoving.blogspot.com/
Take care,
Heidi